She's Here!

Amberlin Elizabeth made her debut at 10:55 in the evening on Saturday, February 7. She weighed 7 lb, 15 oz. and was 20.5 inches long. She finally arrived via C-Section after about 48 hours of attempting to induce labor. Here's her story...

Just before leaving

We checked into the hospital Thursday night/Friday morning at midnight and got the process started. They put me on an IV, started me on Cervadil, which is supposed to soften the cervix, and started monitoring my blood sugar as well as contractions and the baby's heart beat. Each dose of Cervadil was to last 12 hours. After about four hours, they came quickly into the room (waking us up just as we fell asleep) and said that they needed to remove it because the baby was having an adverse reaction and her heart rate was dropping a bit. As a cautionary measure, they were going to wait to administer another dose until 6:00 a.m. when the doctor arrived. They started the twelve hour procedure over again - which resulted in very little change to the cervix. Then we tried it AGAIN.

Twelve hours later there was still not as much change as they had hoped to see, but they thought that if we tried the pitocin (again, a twelve hour procedure) the contractions may get the labor rolling. So we tried it. Contractions started and it looked like we went into labor for a short time - then the contractions just stopped. They were happening slowly, according to the monitor - but my body just stopped responding. They increased the dose as far as they could and it just wasn't happening.

After all this time, we were given the option by our doctor to either break the water and see if it got things going any more or just go ahead with the C-Section. Since I was barely dilated at all, chances were slim that breaking the water would work quickly and there was no way to know if it would do anything at all. Andy and I both felt strongly that we had done what we could to induce labor and after 48 hours, we were tired and ready for her arrival! We had a peace about the decision and within minutes we found ourselves dressed in scrubs and being wheeled into the operating room.

The prep for the surgery was a little nerve-racking for both of us - particularly because Andy wasn't in the room for that part. They made him wait in the hallway and he was as anxious to get in to be with me as I was to have him there! The spinal was administered and I was quickly numb from the chest down (after a little hiccup when the anesthesiologist hit a nerve or something that made my whole body jump involuntarily - that was scary!). Before long Andy was at my side and my nerves calmed a bit once I knew he was there with me. It was a strange feeling to see the nurses working to clean the skin for the surgery and not being able to feel anything. Surely my body had to be moving from side to side, but it was almost as if there was nothing below my arm level.

The curtain was raised to hide the sight of the surgery and Dr. Gamm talked us through a little bit of what she was doing. Just before she was taken out Andy leaned over and said her name to me - "Amberlin Elizabeth?". We had a few names that we had narrowed it down to, but in that moment only the one felt right. And then we waited... All I could do was listen to my very loud heartbeat and focus on seeing and feeling Andy near me. It seemed like an eternity passed, although I know it was only a few minutes. Dr. Gamm told us that she was "way up there" (not dropped) and her umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck, which caused a rush of emotion to wash over me as I was reminded once again how closely God was orchestrating and monitoring her birth. Who knows what might have happened if we had tried to break the water and wait it out... it might have been a much more urgent situation. Instead, He didn't allow any of the methods of inducing labor to work and she was still safe and sound when she was taken from the womb.

Dr. Gamm told me I was going to feel a lot of pressure, which made me hold my breath in anticipation. I didn't feel the pressure, but it was hard to breathe until I heard it...

I wasn't positive what I was waiting for until I heard it, but it was that sweet little cry. Andy and I had been wondering what her cry would sound like and there it was - it was so beautiful. Dr. Gamm held Amberlin up for us to see and told us that she looks "just like her Daddy."

Those were the most heart-warming words I could have ever heard at that moment. What a miracle that she is part me and part Andy... and God breathed life into her and created a separate, independent little life. Our precious Amberlin.

Andy went with the baby as they cleaned her up and cut the umbilical cord, then accompanied them to the nursery to finish with her routine. On the way out, they brought her to my face so that I could kiss her and talk to her for a second before they had to go.

Andy had a very hard time leaving the operating room, as I was still being worked on on the table. He stayed with the baby and returned to me in the recovery room a few minutes later.

He had asked Mom, Dad and Staci to come in and be with me in recovery until he could get there. They had been at the hospital with us for a huge part of the labor process, along with Grandma Noani, Tanya, Mike, Becky and Joel.

It was nice to have them there with us to help pass the time at the beginning and their support was so helpful in the time leading up to her birth and just after.

It was strange coming out of the medicated state - one of the narcotics in the spinal made my face extremely itchy, so I couldn't stop scratching at it and the sudden change in hormones made my body shake convulsively. My parents stayed with me until Andy could return and then they left us to recover together. It was about three hours until they were able to get Amberlin back to me - again, it felt like forever and I wondered in the back of my mind if every minute she was away from me would result in us bonding a little less.

That fear didn't last long once they brought her in, though. The moment they laid her in my arms, everything felt so right. She instantly stopped crying and I know she knew who I was.

It was the most amazing moment and all I could think was how much I wanted to give to her and care for her. She instantly bonded with Daddy, too.

Being alone with her and Andy made our life feel so complete. She's like the piece of our life that we never knew was missing.

Amberlin had lots of visitors while we were in the hospital including everyone that was there for the delivery, Mary Lopez, Aunt Lisa, Aunt LeeAnn, Uncle Steve, Timothy and Pastor Johnny & Loleta. We also saw one of the couples from our lamaze class and we were able to introduce our Amberlin to their new son, Evan.

Four Generations

With Nana and Grandpa

Praise the Lord for His involvement in the process. I am convinced that God's hand was on us - and more importantly on Amberlin - every step of the way. He is good and Amberlin's middle name attests to that - Elizabeth means "My God is Bountiful". He has certainly provided more than we ever dreamed of in this precious little life and we are SO thankful and in awe at what He has given us.

It's almost time

Yesterday I was praying for wisdom. Is it better to just wait and have a big baby and let her come in God's timing? Or should I rely on the medical knowledge, advances and technology that God has given doctors the opportunity to put in place and go ahead and induce labor, as had been recommended? The more I thought about it, the more stressed out I got.
Up to that point, inducing had been a "suggestion" and everyone seemed to be leaving it up to us to decide. That is just not a decision I want to screw up on, you know? As I thought more about it, my prayer changed. I still prayed for wisdom for Andy and I - but more so for our doctor that we would be seeing yesterday, Dr. Gamm. I prayed that instead of leaving it up for discussion and giving us multiple options, He would guide her in what needs to take place and just lay it out for us. With that being said, I still had this nagging urge in the back of my mind that I wanted to give her just a little bit more time in case she decides to come out on her own.
When we saw Dr. Gamm she checked me out and determined that I was NO closer to labor. She immediately told us it's time and she wanted to induce... like maybe tonight (last night). That shocked me a little - partly because it seemed sudden, but more so because it was a direct instruction (and a direct answer to my prayer). Then she said "Well, tonight or Friday... I'll call the hospital and schedule it and let you know." She told us those were the days she is on call and she wants to be the one to deliver her - which is why it was going to be one of those two days. She came back and told us Friday is the day! We will be going to the hospital Thursday night and starting the process at midnight.
I feel like God directly put His hand on us yesterday - he answered so many different facets of the prayer. He provided us with wisdom in how to pray; He gave Dr. Gamm the words that we needed to hear; He had her lay out a very specific plan without making us choose from too many options; He's giving the baby a couple more days just in case (which may be more for my peace of mind - but I'm still thankful). He is so good to us.
I barely slept last night because I couldn't stop thinking about everything. I know that isn't good - I need to get rest, but it wasn't stressful thinking. It was more like amazement that this is really happening and thinking through what the next few days will include. It's definitely excitement about what is coming. And it's peace that it is being directly orchestrated by the Lord.
If I can request prayer over the next couple days, I would like to ask you to pray with me over a few things. First and foremost, to keep the baby safe and healthy for these last few hours before the trauma of birth has to take place in her little life. :) Secondly, for my blood sugar to remain within reasonable numbers - it has been high today and I'm sure it's from all of the excitement and lack of sleep. Third, pray for Andy and I as we prepare for this change in our lives and add this joy to our days - and that we can comfort each other properly throughout the process.
Oh, yeah... if you have extra time, maybe throw in a side prayer that I can get some of these last-minute projects done today and tomorrow. :)
Not much longer now...

Looking back a bit...

I haven't posted a belly pic in a while, so I thought I'd better get one up. This photo was taken almost two weeks ago (January 21). I'm afraid to even take one now! :)

Lifespring! Baby Shower

My ever-so-talented Aunt LeeAnn worked to organize my baby shower at church and, as she always does, it far exceeded what anyone could have hoped for. She put so much attention into tiny little details that it was like a little fairy-tale for our soon-to-arrive princess. :)

Sister Bennett bought the prettiest cake!

My favorite game was "guess the candybar." You can get the idea pretty easily here...

Our church family was SO generous in their gifts. There is no way I can post all of the pictures because they just kept coming and coming! We were really humbled by all that they gave us... from clothes to blankets to toys and other necessities, they really spoiled us!

Work Baby Shower

It's taken me forever to get these posted, but here they are... finally!

My wonderful co-workers threw me a shower on January 9. It was held in the cafeteria of Manheim Riverside after work on Friday and it was a fun party that included lots of laughter. Unfortunately, a lot of the pictures came out blurry, so I only have a few to post...

This is me with Lisa, our HR Assistant, who was the master-mind behind the whole party. She put everything together and led all of the games.

Gil trying not to cross anything (hands, feet, eyes) so that he wouldn't lose his necklaces he had already gotten from catching others...

Gil was so sure his guess was right... he couldn't believe I was 12 squares around and not 13 until he saw it for himself.

Whoa. Look at that prego belly... :/ No wonder it's so hard to hold things on my lap any more!

This Week's Progress

I have had a tough couple of weeks emotionally, but I feel like God has really strengthened me and brought me back to where I need to be for the birth of our daughter. Blood sugar wise... we're still struggling a bit. The doctor put me on a low dose of Glyburide, but I have a feeling they might increase it because some of my readings are still higher than they should be. I have to call in today with the numbers to get the verdict.

I also have another non-stress test today. I quite enjoy those, actually. I get to put my feet up for about a half-hour and listen to the baby's heart beat, then they do an ultrasound to measure the amniotic fluid and run their tests - but the nurses are all so cool that we also poke around admiring her a little bit while they do it. Last time, the nurse flipped when she saw her face - how chubby her little cheeks are - she was pinching at the ultrasound screen like she was going to squeeze them. (I'm sorry, baby girl... I'll try to save you from as much of that as I can. But it's going to be tempting!)

Tomorrow is my next doctor's appointment and we will likely make the big decision... to induce or not to induce. I have been praying that she will make her arrival before we get to that point because the doctor said that about 60% of the time when you induce without being in labor already it results in C-Section. As I've said before, I'm not opposed to C-Section - but going through hours of the level 10 pain from being induced and THEN having to go through surgery really doesn't sound too fun (not much more appealing than just birthing a big baby). I can do it - I know I can with Andy beside me and us relying on the Lord for the strength to get me through. But jeesh... I'm still praying she decides to come on her own before then.

Update

On Thursday we met with the perinatologist and Sweet Success at Pomona Valley Hospital. They left us waiting for about an hour and 15 minutes, which was not fun - but then they finally saw us. The doctor I saw was really rough with the ultrasound, so it bordered on painful - I am not her biggest fan - I guess she wanted to get a really good look and thought that me cringing in pain would help. She took measurements of the baby and checked all of the organs they could see - she is too far along to see everything. But we got a really good look at a lot of her organs and it was really amazing. We could see all of the chambers of her heart and the opening and closing valves as the blood was pumping through... it's truly amazing what is possible through current medical technology.The doctor told us her waist measurement is very large (very round belly). That confused me because I was under the impression that GD babies usually gained the extra weight in the shoulders and upper torso, but she said the belly is part of that "torso" description. I found that interesting since I had a huge round belly when I was born - although my weight was really low.
They are estimating her weight at about 7 lbs 15 oz right now. Dr. Gamm said they probably wouldn't let me get much past 8 lbs, but they haven't done the actual hip measurement and internal exam to formally see what they think my body can handle. That will most likely happen this Wednesday. The perinatologist reminded me that the ultrasound can be off and she may not be quite that big, but that is the closest estimate they can get. I will be going in once per week to meet with the Sweet Success people for managing the diabetes, once per week for my normal OBGYN appointments (starting next time they will do the cervical checks), and twice per week to San Antonio Community Hospital for Non-Stress tests. My first NST will be tomorrow (Monday).
Good thing I made Friday (last week) my last day at work! I have the option of working from home as much as I want this coming week, but we'll see how that goes around all of these appointments. At Sweet Success they went through all of the requirements to manage the diabetes, which includes a strict diet in terms of portions, distribution of food, the timing of meals and how much I eat in a day. They also taught me how to prick my finger and get the sugar readings. It's not hard and it doesn't hurt - but it is time consuming to plan the meals and stick to the schedule. I have to eat three meals per day and three snacks per day, each 2-3 hours apart, plan them out exactly as instructed (x number of starches, x number of fruits, x amount of milk.... etc) and measure my blood sugar exactly an hour after each meal. No more fruit juice and they are limiting my milk in-take. Since that is pretty much all I drink besides water, I'm bummed about having to give them up.
Anyways... praise God that she is healthy and everything seems to be in place. Prayer requests are that she doesn't gain much more and that I can get my blood sugar under control before labor so it doesn't have a negative effect on her after delivery. The doctor mentioned that sometimes GD babies' lungs develop at a slightly slower rate, so I am not in the rush to accellerate the labor process that I was in last week! Whatever I can do to keep her out of NICU and in our arms, I will do. Even if it means a more uncomfortable delivery for me. But I'll be honest - now I'm a little scared again, knowing that she's big.
It seems like every time I start to get peace about issues or fears, something challenges it. I guess that is normal - what better time for Satan to attack than when we are trying to place our trust in God, right? A few months ago, a guy from Teen Challenge gave us a word that he felt God had laid on his heart for us - he said that God wanted us to know that He knows our little girl already. He has a plan for us - for our family - even though we can't see it yet. He wants us to be still and know that He is God.
How often I forget that... even though He displays it every step of the way. It's silly that I even stop to question things - He has never failed to carry me through trials and questionable times. Why would He stop now? I pray that in my weakness He can be made strong and that we remember to "Be Still" in these coming days leading up to the end of our pregnancy and the beginning of our new life.

Busy week ahead

Tonight concludes my Consulting class (hallelu!). I don't know why I thought it would be a good idea to take a class at the end of my pregnancy, but thank the Lord - He pulled me through it! After our presentation tonight I will be finished and looking forward to another break from school as we enter this next exciting stage of our life!
Tomorrow is my 37 week appointment and then on Thursday is my meeting with the Perinatologist and the Dietician. They will be doing an ultrasound to check her measurements and estimate her weight. They told me to expect to be there for about three hours, so it must be very involved!
It's interesting to think about what the next few weeks are going to bring. I'm at a safe place to have the baby (other than the chance of it being high-risk due to the GD) - she is fully developed. So will I go to these appointments only to have her make her debut early and have the specialist appointments be a waste? Will I end up being late and have another several weeks to wait for her? Will they take the measurements and decide to induce labor sooner? Or schedule a C-Section if she's already too big for me to deliver? There are so many possibilities. I wouldn't say I'm feeling anxiety about it or anything like that - more like curiosity. It's kind of like having someone throw a surprise party for us that we accidentally found out about. We know it's coming, but we don't know when or how or who is going to show up. And we're just waiting... thinking about all of the possibilities and what each one would mean.
I know that God already has everything under control. He's been cradling her in His hands as she has been woven and spun in my womb over these past months. Every moment has been another glimpse of the miracle He has been working on. And now we're near the end... and I feel like a child waiting for something exciting. I was going to say waiting for Christmas gifts or seeing a cookie jar, but having it be just out of reach - but those don't even compare. The closest feeling I can come up with is waiting for Dad to arrive after completing one of his military deployments... the excitement and tension of waiting for him to walk around the corner and be home. I want her to be home.
I think God has really lifted a lot of my fear about labor in this last week or so. I am so thankful for that - and for what is coming, even though we just have to keep standing here waiting for it to arrive! I wonder if God has fun with this... the waiting game at the end. Making us wonder about when it's going to happen - sometimes surprising us with early (to the point of unexpected) arrivals, sometimes dragging it out. I like to think that He does. That He takes joy in fulfilling this desire of our hearts in His own unique ways - and that the way He chooses for us will be exactly perfect. And that He gets to have a few chuckles along the way... :)

Results

Well, this time the news is not as good as last time. I had a feeling the test didn't go well because I felt so sick afterward. I had to call in to work because I was nauseous and I just went home and crashed (after drinking like 3 bottles of water and eating a sandwich). I was right... I failed the sugar test and now they're going to make me go on a diet and monitor my glucose levels several times a day (by pricking my finger). I should be going to Pomona Valley Hospital within the next week to a program called "Sweet Success" where they will give me all of the instructions and do an ultrasound to measure the size/weight of the baby. My doctor said that if she gets too big they will intervene - either scheduled C-Section or inducing labor early.

I realized that when they said they wouldn't measure the weight by ultrasound they just meant that they wouldn't do it there in their office due to the margin of error that can be present. If patients have gestational diabetes they do it at Pomona Valley. I guess. I'm really not completely sure - I'm just gathering what info I can. What I do know is that we will probably have one, which makes me happy because I like to know what to expect. And because we will get to see her again. What does not make me happy is having to go on a diet. I am not a dieter. I know it's not a "diet" in the most popular sense of the word - it's just a nutritional regimen. But still... not a big fan! I don't eat anything crazy or overdose on sweets as it is, so it seems kind of silly to me to start monitoring everything so strictly when I'm so close to delivery. But if it might possibly be helpful to my daughter, then I will do it. And I'll try not to complain. ;)

I have had two wonderful baby showers that I will post pictures of very soon. We've been so busy at home preparing for her arrival, it is hard to sit down and find time to blog. Even working short days - I still don't feel like I have any spare time. After next week my class will be over so hopefully that will free up some time. Lately all of the extra time has been spent washing and putting away her blankets, clothes and bedding - as well as taking down the Christmas tree and decorations. I have so many chores that need to be done, but I have not had the time or the motivation to do most of them - and I've been putting them off for a long time! Where is this nesting instinct that everyone talks about? I'm waiting for this super-human strength and desire to get everything spotless, but it hasn't hit me yet! I hope it's coming because I would love to have everything clean when we come home from the hospital. Right now exhaustion is just a much stronger force...

Another long glucose test

I have avoided posting about my last appointment with the doctor because I was really disappointed with how it went - but now that I'm only a couple days away from the next appointment I'd better get it over with! Unfortunately this last appointment wasn't as encouraging as the other recent ones have been. Dr. Johnson expressed some concern (he said that he and Dr. Gamm were both concerned) about how big the baby appears to be getting. I guess it would be more accurate to say how big my stomach is getting because they haven't done an ultrasound or anything to measure her size - just measuring my stomach. His exact words were "You're not a big girl - you're not going to be able to deliver a big baby." They decided it would be best if I went back for another 3 hour glucose test since the last one was "on the verge." He said that he just wants to be safe incase she starts gaining too much weight in the shoulders and torso - apparently that is what frequently happens when gestational diabetes is present and it makes for a very difficult delivery.

So that is what I did today. I fasted last night/this morning and spent three hours in the clinic waiting for them to stab me four times. It actually hit me a little harder this time - it made me nauseous and light-headed. That could be as much from the fasting as anything else, though.

So there you have it... why I've been quiet for a while. It kind of feels like taking a step backwards since we already went through this and thought we were past it. BUT I have to say that I am thankful that they are being cautious and I'd rather be safe than sorry... so we'll find out on Thursday if this test returned different results than the last one and what it will mean if it did.

Our appointments will be once a week from here on out. The doctor offered to write me an off-work order starting this week, but I want to try to keep working for a little bit longer. My boss has agreed to let me work shortened days, so I will only be working from 8:00 - 2:00 for the next couple weeks (or however long I can hang in). I can't believe how close it's getting... :)

Christmas 2008

Andy and I in Arvada for our Warns Family Christmas

34 Weeks